This is not a sonnet, but has a son in it, will you c/c?

LC, you know when you have written a good poem and when it has somehow gone flat. The sentiment is touching, but as a poem, it lacks something. I look at poems from the standpoint of an editor/poet. I can't help it; I have been doing so for decades. I don't feel that this is one of your best. I wish you would write another poem on the same theme and post it. Your feelings got in the way of your work...